Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Let Go, Bridezilla! A Bride's Horror.


Sounds familiar? Have you been a bridezilla throughout your wedding planning season? Maybe even worst, a bridezilla on your wedding day? Seems like everyone can't do what they have been requested to do and you'll have to just do everything yourself? 

I've been toying with this blogpost content in my head since getting through the wedding nitty gritty myself. I mean, comparing to some of my friends' stories, I would consider that planning my wedding was pretty chill. Of course, there were a couple of things that got me upset and why this, why that, and the whole - it's OUR wedding day, why can't we do it the way we want it... It's probably common to a lot of younger couple these days. 

If you think getting through your planning process marks the end of long-suffering, well, let me burst your bubble, the real shit happens on the wedding day because at the end of it, what happens during THE DAY is the one that matters. 


After watching some of my beautiful friends got married before me. I told myself no matter what, I will choose to act like a bride on my wedding day. I'm not going to try to control things, I'm not going shout, I'm just going to breathe and let go of anything that gets to my nerves that day because there's nothing more unpleasant than to watch a bride shouting down the aisle. Yup, I've seen that happened. 

#1 MY SALON DID NOT OPEN

Let's start with hair and makeup, basically one of the first few things you'll need to get done on your wedding day. I've decided to do my own makeup and booked an appointment at my chosen salon nearby two week before the wedding date. To be honest, the salon (Eddcutz Hair Studio Bayu Perdana) was a little doggy to begin with but I had my hair cut there and the stylist did a pretty good job. Thus, placing my trust on the salon. I've even requested for it to open 30 minutes earlier, which he had agreed, just so that I could have some extra time for my make up. 

The day before, I had a little gut feeling that the salon might FFK me and forgotten about my appointment. Though, I keep brushing the feeling away because we did not agree upon any reminder calls before the appointment day.Plus, it could just be me worrying too much. 

On my wedding day, I woke up earlier than expected and somehow got most of my makeup done before heading off to the salon. I reached 10 minutes earlier and the shop was close. Telling myself, don't panic, I am early. 10 minutes pass, I was starting to boil and getting a little frustrated. This was definitely not a great start to my wedding day. 

I scrambled through my bag to look for his name card, called but it was not working. Then, scrambled through Facebook to look for him, found and PM-ed him. After 15 minutes (10.45am), no news and the shop was still closed. I remembered being totally pissed about it but knowing that I needed a plan B and I didn't want to let this ruin my day, so I went to the next best salon nearby that I know, thankfully, Leon Salon just opened and was available to attend to me. 

Best part, the hairdo was cheaper by RM10. What a blessing! 

What I've Learnt: Just like everything in life, focus on finding a solution instead of dwelling in that moment. 


#2 KIDS BEING KIDS

I love my nieces and nephews. They are absolutely adorable! However, trying to take a family picture with them is quite a struggle. Especially when one is a cry baby and another has a little attitude. Thankfully, I love them too much that I couldn't bring myself to get upset at them. Plus, my family was amazing enough to handle them. 

All I did, and told myself to do, was to sit there and not worry about anything else. Just look pretty for the camera and let the rest handle everything else. I remembered that moment very clearly, crazy chaotic, but somehow, choosing to just take that very moment to observe and watch all my immediate family members being there, was definitely a memory that I intend to keep closely to my heart always. 

What I've Learnt: Photographs and videos can't capture everything. Take time to notice the little things, your surroundings, the present, and find joy in them because it will only happen once. 


#3 I SPECIFICALLY SAID NO HENG DAI/JI MUI GAMES!

Before the wedding, we've all agreed on not having the traditional games. I just wanted Dex to arrive, pick me up, and we move on to the tea ceremony. Everyone received the memo and the itinerary but clearly my family chose to ignore my wishes and orchestrated a couple of activities while I am stuck in my room waiting and feeling extremely annoyed. 

When I first heard the noises of them started with the games, I literally went "WTF, WHY NO LISTENS TO ME ON MY WEDDING DAY?! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DO AS AGREED?! IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!" 

I know my husband and his geng of heng dais were more than capable of taking care of themselves but I was so tempted to go downstairs and drag my husband up because I just want to get on with my original itinerary. The pictures would have turned out magnificient but I couldn't. I had to pull myself together and tell myself to let it slide, it's okay, just go with the flow. 

So I sat quietly in my room chatting with my best girlfriend. Thank God for you Shareen Tea! 

What I've Learnt: No one gives a shit about what you want on your wedding day. You can't control other people's actions but you can control your own emotions and choose to be flexible in situations like this. 


#4 DELAY DELAY DELAY

This was probably my most stressful part of the day when an unforeseen circumstance cause my matrimony to be delayed by an hour. I can't give details but I can say that I got so bored and tired of waiting that the rage got to me. Mainly because it was not only my time that was wasted but also everyone else's who arrived on time. I can feel that my family and the kids were getting tired and agitated from all the waiting, I felt bad for them. The worst part was, it was not something that I can stir up a plan B. It was the only plan, either plan A or nothing. Hands tied, I can't do anything about it but to wait as there were no other options. 

When it was finally time for the matrimony to begin, I had to quickly brush off the rage and forced a smile on my face. Telling myself "it happened and I have no control over it, just let it go, and don't worry about everyone else." I had to choose to want to move pass that rage, otherwise, I would have walked down the aisle with a sour face and spent the rest of my wedding day being unhappy with a situation that I had no solution to. 

What I've Learnt: Really, sometimes you'll just have to choose to let go. Be ready and wise to catch yourself before you blow up. Thank God I've psyched myself before the wedding to handle emotions like these. 

What I've Learnt Part 2: Don't worry about others. If they really care about you, they'll deal with it too. 

#5 WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

I've decided to take out the old red Chinese outfit as one of my dinner dress. I was so happy that it still fits and looks as good as new even though it was bought by my parents when I was still in my teenhood (many many years ago). Funny how back then I jokingly said that I would wear them for my wedding day and that joke became a reality. xD

During the dinner, I changed into the red outfit in a freezing small storage room that was rather dirty and packed with loads of things that belongs to the restaurant. Also, they do not have a key, thus I have to leave the room unlock with all my belongings there. Dangerous and wasn't ideal but I had no complains as I was only going to be there a couple hours. I prayed hard to ensure my things were safe. 

Proudly walking around with my red outfit mingling with people and my nieces and nephews. It was all good until I bend over and a loud sound unleashed from the back of my skirt, quickly with my right hand holding the skirt from dropping and before it made a scene. My zipper broke! I immediately ran to the store room and changed back to my simple white dress. 

When people asked, I  laughed and told them the whole truth. My zipper broke and I almost flashed my goods on my wedding day.

What I've Learnt: It's okay to laugh when something goes wrong. At least now I have a funny story to tell rather than the usual "my wedding was perfect". My wedding was far from perfect but it was beautiful overall. 

Think about your marriage because wedding is just a one day event. I'm glad it is over.
How was yours? 
xo, 

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2 comments:

Rikajue said...

You are so patient! I would rage if they stubbornly do things that I specifically told them not to do etc, the games. I'm crossing my fingers that my wedding won't have it at all. What happened about the salon, after the wedding, did he ever contact you about why he broke the promise? You are amazing to laugh away and enjoy your wedding day. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Gwendolyn Me said...

My sister got married 6 months ago and I helped to plan her wedding. Asides all that you've mentioned above.
The waiter spilled wine on my sisters dress, another waiter dropped stacks of plates and the crowd boo-ed. And people who did not want to be on the agenda to perform or give speeches suddenly decide they want to sing or have speeches. We ended up having five rounds of yam-seng